Wednesday 9 September 2015

Poppets, My Heart: Avoid Self-Declared Bad Guys

You will be the death of me. I just found an email from a reader--girls, ALWAYS use the subject heading or I will think you are spam---who went on a first date with a man who told her he was a "bad guy."

Now I am prostrate, worrying that this reader has decided to give him the time of day because I didn't email back in time. It's like being the mother of a six hundred invisible girls who are all wandering around the world, getting into trouble.

Always use the subject heading when you email me, and always remember that if a man says he is a "bad guy", he very probably is a bad guy. Good guys don't tell you they are bad guys. Quiet or bold, they just don't.  Of course, not all bad guys will be so dumb as to tell you, but I believe it cuts down on the bad guys' guilt later if they can think, "Well, I told her I was a bad guy."

When a guy tells you he is a bad guy, he's asking for permission to act like a bad guy. If you ever see him again, he may take that as the permission he was hoping for.

There are good boys, darn it. There are at least two in my parish. Let everyone arrive in Edinburgh en masse to have a look at them.


  1. Very true about the self-proclaimed bad guys. Also true that there are decent men in the world. But I have to say at the risk of being annoying that I have known one or two men who posed as good guys (i.e. not "nice guys" - which is another kind of problem) but were not, just as there are men who pose as feminists. Really, we women have to accept that some men will pretend *anything* to nab a woman, especially if all they want is a quick encounter. Only solution is to keep your eyes open and not rush into anything, physically or emotionally.

    Alias Clio

  2. True. I have always found it so WEIRD what some men will lie about to try to get sex. Things most women find absolutely sacred--like their mothers' lives--some men will lie about to try to get sex. Actually, some lie about crazy things just to rock your sense of reality. (PUA trick.) So, yes, the bad ones pretending to be good are dangerous, too.

  3. Yes, some men lie, but they are VERY unlikely to lie about being a BAD guy if they are not. If he isn't quoting a George Thoroughgood song (Bad to the Bone) it's time to run away. Spend your time trying to sort out if the "good" guys are really good or not.


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