tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post9063530501572858292..comments2023-06-16T16:08:23.446+01:00Comments on Edinburgh Housewife: Dating the DivorcedMrs McLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-52623358411680601712015-03-29T07:18:43.480+01:002015-03-29T07:18:43.480+01:00Well there you go! Thanks for the info.Well there you go! Thanks for the info.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-88575214351625676882015-03-29T00:13:02.248+00:002015-03-29T00:13:02.248+00:00I echo Auntie Seraphic's comments about 'l...I echo Auntie Seraphic's comments about 'leaving directly.' I've only been out with one [non-Catholic] divorced man (who was considerate enough to make that clear up front), but it seems that no matter how much they insist on a full and detailed explanation for why there will not be another lunch date the next week, giving such an explanation will probably only incite more pain and rage (at least it did in my case). It was difficult to just 'let it go,' as he was actually a very kind man, but I felt so much better after doing so. It can save a lot of potential future pain, for both parties. <br /><br />Ditto with 'settling.' I think there's a lot of pressure on single women (Catholic or not) these days to 'be open' to all kinds of men because 'everyone has mistakes and bad choices in their past.' Personally, I'd rather be 'too picky' and never be married than do so out of some modern obligation to give everyone a chance. If a man gets upset with you for calling things off after a couple dates in spite of the fact that he 'didn't do anything wrong' or 'did all the right things,' he doesn't respect you. Following the basic mechanics of a chivalry code is not an entitlement to your affections, emotional, physical, or otherwise.Harrietnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-73084971802188679232015-03-28T15:14:47.403+00:002015-03-28T15:14:47.403+00:00Julia, your parent's marriage would have becom...Julia, your parent's marriage would have become a sacramental one when your mother was baptized. Truthfinderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00937672867378660928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-8696318988316434132015-03-27T23:57:37.346+00:002015-03-27T23:57:37.346+00:00My father (baptised cradle Catholic) married my mo...My father (baptised cradle Catholic) married my mother before she was baptised (she was baptised two years after I was, which was over four years after the wedding.) Neither of them had been married before. They got married in the Catholic cathedral of my home city, and got all the relevant dispensations and permissions that they needed due to my mother not being a Christian at that point. So my understanding is that their marriage is valid (as in, not annullable) but not sacramental. Is this correct?Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-18310387155905351682015-03-27T21:37:07.914+00:002015-03-27T21:37:07.914+00:00:) That's really interesting!!
And that make...:) That's really interesting!! <br /><br />And that makes sense! So in the case of Anamaria's friend, it would probably only practically apply if they decided that they wanted to become Catholic. <br /><br />Thanks, Seraphic!! Booklovernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-49673519405905702242015-03-27T21:23:00.466+00:002015-03-27T21:23:00.466+00:00Certainly divorced Protestants can apply to a Cath...Certainly divorced Protestants can apply to a Catholic marriage tribunal. However, the Catholic marriage tribunal would certainly want to know why and who sent them! Usually it's because one of them wants to marry a Catholic. <br /><br />As for non-sacramental marriages, I'm at the very end of my knowledge! I know only as much as I do because I know a former JW whose Protestant (?) ex-husband wanted to marry a Catholic, and my friend having gotten married to him as a runaway JW (but not yet a recognizable Christian), meant that the annulment procedure was easy-peasy. Mrs McLeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-5492004606667957222015-03-27T19:27:06.658+00:002015-03-27T19:27:06.658+00:00My head is spinning, lol! Two questions, just beca...My head is spinning, lol! Two questions, just because I'm curious. :) <br /><br />Where/how would a non-Catholic Christian get an annulment, assuming that you are not talking about a legal annulment? Or are you? (Even if a Catholic tribunal would grant one to a non-Catholic Christian, it seems unlikely that the non-Catholic would look to the Catholic Church for an annulment?) <br /><br />Also, are natural (ie, non-sacramental) marriages easier to annul, then? Or is that only a natural marriage between a baptized and non-baptized person? <br /><br />Sorry; I just find cannon law on marriage fascinating. :) Booklovernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-86488140547748532562015-03-27T16:54:25.382+00:002015-03-27T16:54:25.382+00:00This sounds like a case for Canon Lawyer!
Your f...This sounds like a case for Canon Lawyer! <br /><br />Your friend's beau seems fine as a person. He's probably over post-divorce craziness. However, depending on who he married and how, he might still be married in the eyes of God and His Church. The Roman Catholic Church recognizes natural marriages (e.g. between Hindus) and sacramental marriages (i.e. between eligible Christians), and therefore calls not just Catholics but all Christians (and everyone else, really) to remain faithful to their spouses. <br /><br />Just because Protestants have different rules for themselves, doesn't mean God has different rules for them. God takes marriage very, very seriously, and thus so does the Roman Catholic Church. Which is why we are so distressed about so-called same-sex marriage <br /><br />As for whether or not they, if they became Catholics, they could continue living like married folk and have their marriage blessed, I don't know a lot, but I think this is right:<br /><br />If the Protestant was baptized and got married to another baptized, but not Roman Catholic Christian, then he and his ex-wife are still married until/unless the Roman Catholic Church says they are not. <br /><br />However, if the Protestant married a unbaptized woman (e.g. Jehovah's Witness, Jewish girl, unbaptized child of atheists), the marriage could not have been a sacramental marriage. Easy annulment case. <br /><br />Also, bizarrely enough, if he married a Catholic outside the Catholic Church, without the permission of the Catholic Church--e.g. no priest was ever involved, and she never got a dispensation to marry a Protestant--then that is another easy annulment case. <br /><br />Oh, if the ex-wife was a divorcee before he married her (without an annulment) then I believe that's easy too. <br /><br />If however he was a baptized non-Catholic Christian married to another baptized non-Catholic Christian then it's more complicated, but there may be grounds for an annulment case based on immaturity or lack of freedom or anything else. Only a tribunal or two could say. Mrs McLeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-21598440107735855942015-03-27T14:30:52.287+00:002015-03-27T14:30:52.287+00:00What about a Protestant friend who takes marriage ...What about a Protestant friend who takes marriage seriously and a divorced Protestant? A friend of mine is about to get engaged to such a man. He's been divorced for a few years, his wife left him (literally went home to take care of her sick mother and never came back), and she was not open to children (which I think are grounds for an annulment, were he catholic...). He's really great, best guy she's ever dated. She was quite concerned about this at the beginning but not any more. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01862608839870093437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-54547915706465333322015-03-27T14:00:32.718+00:002015-03-27T14:00:32.718+00:00But meanwhile, a widower is not like a divorced-wi...But meanwhile, a widower is not like a divorced-without-an-annulment man, for a widower is actually, totally, and utterly "formerly married", not "still married in an invisible way that only Catholics take seriously."Mrs McLeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-43120932611978673382015-03-27T13:58:20.746+00:002015-03-27T13:58:20.746+00:00Well, I have never dated a widower. I've known...Well, I have never dated a widower. I've known some young widows (like, in their 20s young), but never any young or even middle-aged widowers, that I know of. Women are pretty hardy these days. I guess I wouldn't recommend getting cozy with a widower during his first year of mourning. For one thing, it's disrespectful to the dead and a tad scandalous to any children and his wife's relations. I would most DEFINITELY keep things "just friends" with a widower until the first year is up. Can you imagine being a widower's "transitional person"? Ick. Mrs McLeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-62850401407533916172015-03-27T13:53:13.065+00:002015-03-27T13:53:13.065+00:00Probably in the midst of small talk, you will find...Probably in the midst of small talk, you will find confirmation of whether or not he was married before and if he has any children. As you don't KNOW for sure he has been previously married, I would lay off telling any WORK friends about it. Meanwhile although I totally understand the married lady impulse to interfere in the love lives of young people, I wish we wouldn't do it at work. SOOOO unprofessional. Mrs McLeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-59015188415849900622015-03-27T13:09:39.593+00:002015-03-27T13:09:39.593+00:00This blog is most timely! I've recently gotten...This blog is most timely! I've recently gotten a little friendly with a new hire (and by "little friendly" I really just mean "making small talk" - no hidden agenda there). All the ladies in the office simply love him and one of my close coworkers has been subtly trying to set me up with him. I'm gun shy at the best of times, but I did a little Internet stalking and found some pretty good evidence that he was married before. I told my coworker to chill out a little and I told myself to look past the cute smile and the new BMW. I've never had to deal with a divorce situation before - I already talked to a few friends about it - and then this blog was published. So ~ thank you! I needed some clear, concise explanations for when people question my reactions. Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06445940812881681649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-16256823476574575242015-03-27T01:29:53.981+00:002015-03-27T01:29:53.981+00:00What do you think might be things to consider when...What do you think might be things to consider when dating a widower? Obviously a widower is free to marry in the Church, so that's not an issue, but there would be factors that wouldn't exist for someone who had never been married.<br /><br />(N.B. I'm not dating a widower. This is hypothetical.)Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.com