tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post2207037267010262067..comments2023-06-16T16:08:23.446+01:00Comments on Edinburgh Housewife: Not Feeling SettledMrs McLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-62438087446051150332015-09-08T04:29:05.147+01:002015-09-08T04:29:05.147+01:00And Julia, let me just tell you that skinny, short...And Julia, let me just tell you that skinny, short, Asian girls are also a niche interest most places. ;-) As Seraphic said, if you're under 30, the best medicine is to CALM DOWN and learn to love your life as it is. Being in love with your life is inherently attractive to people of all ages, and often attracts a good man eventually.Mari Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07171764404064781371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-40256648350888209312015-09-07T01:44:32.050+01:002015-09-07T01:44:32.050+01:00Just again, Justreality, are you perhaps listening...Just again, Justreality, are you perhaps listening to the things that men your age say? I'm 25, and I have learned that many of my ~25-year-old male friends only really like 'skinny' women (I don't just mean slim, or 'not fat', or toned -- I mean skinny.)<br /><br />I showed my father a picture of the sort of girl they like, and he thinks she's too skinny and looks underdeveloped. Not his type. My father's theory is that those men themselves are quite skinny, and so they probably prefer skinny girls. My father is not skinny, and does not prefer skinny girls. And he says that in the 1970s the trend was for non-skinny girls.<br /><br />My point? Well, I'm tall and slim, but I'm not skinny like those girls. I'm also quite strong. I can feel at times that I've just copped the crummy end of the gene pool in a culture that values skinny, (usually) short and (usually) Asian girls. I mean, I'm a tall, curvy occidental! It can't get much more opposite than that.<br /><br />But it hasn't stopped some guys from being interested. We might not have the most sought-after look, but as Seraphic says, most people are niche interests.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-9656908550596709522015-09-07T01:26:52.673+01:002015-09-07T01:26:52.673+01:00Justreality, it is highly unlikely that you are as...Justreality, it is highly unlikely that you are as unattractive as you think you are, especially if you are only nineteen. Nineteen-year-olds look young and fresh, and often don't have the same perspective on their looks as other people do.<br /><br />If it's any comfort, I know of a few women who have been married recently or are soon to be married and who have visible physical imperfections. And actually all those women who come to mind have attracted very attractive men.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-38917963311929850052015-09-06T15:30:22.212+01:002015-09-06T15:30:22.212+01:00Thanks for this post! It really is a very helpful ...Thanks for this post! It really is a very helpful reminder. Sobering, but not without hope. It reminds me not to make any assumptions about what could happen, what will happen, or what 'should' happen. :)<br /><br />Also, for Justreality -- I can hear the heartache in your words, and sense how starkly you see the dichotomy between 'pretty' and 'ugly' -- and I wish I could help, somehow. All I can say is that *no one* is too ugly to love. Everyone is loved, everyone can be, and by *anyone*. The quality of one's looks and love and marriage are not even on the same spectrum.Michellenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-41289472669985345512015-09-06T11:02:18.784+01:002015-09-06T11:02:18.784+01:00Art for sure. Art all the way.
Went to the weddi...Art for sure. Art all the way. <br /><br />Went to the wedding of some dear friends yesterday. Was lovely. Will be attending an engagement party next weekend, and I am that couple's MoH. My life is becoming Wedding Central. Most of the time that's fine, except for when it's not.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-75507615298669932772015-09-06T09:09:25.435+01:002015-09-06T09:09:25.435+01:00Aw, thanks, Cordi!
The whole idea that the "...Aw, thanks, Cordi! <br /><br />The whole idea that the "holier" you are, the more likely you are to get married confuses me, especially as whole crowds of jaded older women will tell you that the only way to get a bloke is to put out. So the young fry are encouraging you to "become holier" and the jaded old are encouraging you to become LESS holier! It's all nonsense. You build your life on God because everything else is like sand. Before everything else was I AM. <br /><br />"Stop scowling at men because you're driving them away" is Grade A excellent advice, by the way. That is an excellent example of constructive advice. I've used it myself! :-DMrs McLeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-85164042704574334562015-09-06T07:13:39.912+01:002015-09-06T07:13:39.912+01:00Well, I love European languages, history, and cult...Well, I love European languages, history, and culture. Having recently moved to a large metropolitan area (from a small town) I've been seeking out every opportunity to pursue these interests--and there are a lot! Many people do not seem to be aware of it, but there are expat/immigrant communities from many countries here, with festivals, language classes, and all kinds of interesting things. I'm working on my French (there's a French community here) going to mass at a lovely 100 year-old Polish church and attending Polish school, and I haven't even had a chance to seek out the Dante Society or get to know the German club yet! <br />However, it's true that I haven't been dancing but once all summer, and that after work I'm rather more likely to be found at home studying French vocabulary than out at Young Catholic Happy Hour ;-)<br />Perhaps there is a balance to be found?Amusednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-40102084488358806642015-09-06T02:25:58.910+01:002015-09-06T02:25:58.910+01:00I just wanted to say that you're wonderful, Se...I just wanted to say that you're wonderful, Seraphic. Thank you.Cordinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-20676550549925591912015-09-05T19:15:54.044+01:002015-09-05T19:15:54.044+01:00Agree with Amused! This is a wonderful post!!
A ...Agree with Amused! This is a wonderful post!! <br /><br />A few thoughts:<br /><br />1. Re: the comment above, is any woman actually too ugly to get married? In my experience, a lot of women and men that just don't seem at all attractive in my opinion (And not to be mean!! Just to respond to the comment.) end up getting married. <br /><br />2. Honestly, I've found that encouraging one to deepen one's relationship with God is annoying because it usually comes with (spoken or not) insinuation that, basically, I'm not holy enough for a husband/children yet. (The dreaded, 'Well, maybe you just need to focus on God right now, and improve your relationship with Him before you'll be ready for children/husband.' As though everyone else who is getting married/having children are somehow holier/going to make better wives/mothers than I would! Aggh!! I know they mean well . . . but, unless you're a close friend or family member who actually has something constructive (like, 'stop scowling at men, because you're driving them away), DON'T ever suggest that a person's singlehood or infertility is their fault. Ugh, ugh. ugh!!)<br /><br />But anyway, the point I was trying to make is that you didn't do that at all!! I think you stated it very well!!<br /><br />3. And also, I've learned over the years that the best thing (in most cases, anyway) is just to say "I'm so sorry you are suffering. That sucks. I'll pray for you." Most suffering people just want to have someone acknowledge that what they are going through is difficult. booklovernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-2618795182696466822015-09-05T18:17:08.726+01:002015-09-05T18:17:08.726+01:00Dear Amused, you are very welcome! I'm very gl...Dear Amused, you are very welcome! I'm very glad you have taken up interesting things. Goodness knows what circles "get you noticed". (But any clues for readers who might have a genuine interest in that sort of thing?)Mrs McLeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-77752043272496472772015-09-05T18:05:06.492+01:002015-09-05T18:05:06.492+01:00This is a lovely post, thank you, Seraphic. Thank ...This is a lovely post, thank you, Seraphic. Thank you for your blogs in general too--thanks to them, I have been encouraged to take up a lot of things in which I feel a genuine interest! Sometimes I'm told I'd have better chances if I moved in other circles, but I do feel it's important to do the things that you really care about, instead of the things that you hope will get you noticed ;-)Amusednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-73973133540480644402015-09-05T18:04:32.480+01:002015-09-05T18:04:32.480+01:00I imagine that there are many more women who think...I imagine that there are many more women who think they know at 19 that they are too ugly ever to marry than there actually are women who are "too ugly ever to marry." Many such despairing girls just need to follow medical advice or to see a therapist.<br /><br />There are many careers and trades that involve relationship: medicine, nursing, pharmacy, therapy of many kinds, teaching at any level... Naturally many women end up in distasteful, dead, impersonal jobs, but that's not the same thing as having a trade or a career. I suppose the woman on the factory floor can infuse some meaning into her work by volunteering to be a union rep, plotting to become foreman or giving English classes during lunch hour. <br /><br />A religious vocation is dependent on the community; it is not all about the girl. Meanwhile, I am not sure how "sacrificial" were the vocations of the beautiful (inside and out) girls I know who went into the cloister. They all but RAN, if you ask me, after completing their responsibilities in the world. The religious vocation seemed to choose them as much as they choose it.<br /><br />You sound unhappy, and I suspect you have come from the Catholic Answers website. If you like, send me an email about what is troubling you: seraphicsingles@yahoo.com<br /><br />Mrs McLeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18095035617334068201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-670426779858438488.post-853111783695721842015-09-05T16:57:24.000+01:002015-09-05T16:57:24.000+01:00Indeed, sometimes a woman knows from 19 that she i...Indeed, sometimes a woman knows from 19 that she is too ugly to ever marry. At least it gives her more time to come maturely to terms with the fact. <br /><br />The hard thing is when a career seems SO distasteful, a dead object and impersonal, in comparison to a woman's natural bent to a relational life and calling. <br /><br />One can actually filled with repulsion at the idea of such a thing becoming the center of one's life. Here then of course is where God comes in as the one and only answer.<br /><br />To choose a religious vocation because one longs for a solely relational and personal center and focus to one's life, and because it has always been apparent there could be no other option, I think is not a bad reason. It's less lovely and admirable and spectacular than a pretty girl's sacrificial vocation, but that does not mean that God does not want an unattractive girl in that mode of life also.<br /><br />It's important to remember that perhaps God made one this way knowing that if she had worldly joys and approval at her disposal during her life, then she may have never turned to Him at all, and her soul may have been utterly lost.Justrealitynoreply@blogger.com